she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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