I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
