I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
