screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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