So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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