I like to think it a success when the cops are called
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I smell like Dick and happiness
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize