South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
