exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
