the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I CAN MOONWALK!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
