just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
