idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Randomize
