WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
