all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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