do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
