so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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