maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
What a dumb baby whore.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
