WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
