if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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