i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
