we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
