i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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