the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize