just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
