I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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