member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
