You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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