I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
