fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize