2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
