there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
