There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
