Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
