After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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