yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
