The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
