i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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