Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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