2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
