He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
