I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
