no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
