what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
