i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize