I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
