I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
