I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
