im holly from the hills drunk
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
