I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
