Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
