The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
