If i come over, it means nothing
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I intend to get homeless drunk
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
