I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize