please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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