508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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