She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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