last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
