since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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