can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
