you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
