I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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