Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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