I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
