Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
