I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
