This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Sorry my hands just texted you
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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