Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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